
Man sectioned after wife sees him washing his hands while singing happy birthday.
A man who took the Prime Ministers advice and sang happy birthday to himself twice while washing his hands has been sectioned. His wife,...
Priest gives up alter boys for lent.
A Catholic Priest from Minosotta has decided that this lent he will go the extra mile and give up children. “I know it’s going to be hard...
Modern families give up saying grace in favour of chanting “Death to America, Death to the West”!
With the world waiting abaited after US strikes many outside the west have taken on somewhat peculiar tradition at mealtimes. “We used to...
Student Tells Teacher To “Stop Mansplaining Every Friggin Little Thing”!
A student from St Mary’s Primary School has pulled up her teacher with regards to teaching style. “He’s always like, do an L like this...
Man Who Underwent Genetic Testing Discovers He's An Arsehole.
A man who underwent genetic testing with a home kit has discovered he carries the dreaded “arsehole gene”. “I was surprised and upset”,...
Mermaid Spotted Off Coast With Huge Trail Of Faeces.
“It’s absolutely huge”, said one local fisherman, "I hooked onto it with my road and thought I'd landed a whale"! Although mermaid...
Doctor Discovers Patient Really Does Have Baby In Her Tummy.
A doctor has discovered a baby in a ladies tummy during a routine examination at his surgery in Kent. “When she first came in I suspected...
Man Becomes A Hipster After Years Struggling To Develop A Personality.
Michael Parish of Essex had spent years working at being an interesting person. Along the way, he tried hobbies and even had a go at...
Idiots To Be Made To Register With Local Councils.
Two thousand nineteen will see be a year of changes for councils across England and Wales, but no other legislation will be quite as...
Weird Ponytail Uncle Leaves After Sleeping On The Couch Since Christmas.
Christmas at the Leonards was always a happy affair, a festive lunch, presents, and one too many bottles of wine. This year was no...
Take Away Place Claims Burgers Now Contain "80 Percent Less Spit".
A busy take away shop on a London high street has said it will dramatically cut down on the amount of spit in its burgers. “We’re getting...
Adopt A Snow Leopard Program Ends In Tragedy.
A lovely suburban family participating in the adopt a snow leopard program has ended in a bloodbath after the wild animal went on a...
Grandma Says What She Misses Most About The Olden Days Is "The Threesomes".
A grandmother being interviewed for a school newspaper has told the student interviewer, her granddaughter, that the main thing she...
















