Queen Urges Public To Increase Their Use Of Moats.

The Queen of England has addressed the nation today and told people that "if they have a castle, they should begin using their moats immediately". With only one in three castles in England and Wales having a functioning drawer bridge, many will continue to be at risk of COVID-19. Her Majesty told the nation that they should "only lower their drawer bridges to accept orders from Amazon and Uber Eats". "The world has changed a lot in recent weeks," she said, "and I praise you all for your efforts to social distance and save the NHS. We should not sway from our struggle, and we should stay inside our castles no matter how small they are. One way to break up the day could be to ride your horses and gold carriage around the grounds practising your waving. With this virus, we never know how many might be wiped out and who will be in line for the throne".