UK To Reopen Crack Dens.

Crack dens provide a safe place for people to chill out and relax.

Prime Minister Boris Johnson has implemented a plan to get the nations crack dens open for business within the next few weeks. In a statement read from Number 10, the clownlike leader said: "crack is part of the social fabric of our communities, and we are trying to get them open as soon as possible".

Crack dens across the UK have been closed since the start of the lockdown, and some worried that many crack dealers will go under. "I've been slinging crack since I was sixteen", said one distributor, "I don't know how to do anything else"!

Jeff Caldern, head of the London Crack Dealer Institute told HotWire, "We've had some local dealers have to sell their homes because of the crisis! God help us if we have to live in a world without crack"!