SAS Called In Case The President Grabs The Queen By The Pussy.

An old factory that used to make mattresses may seem a world away from the Presidential visit but this is where the UK’s special forces, the SAS, has been training for his visit. Their main goal, to protect the Queen's pussy.

“We’re being called on because of the Presidents past behaviour and to take him out before he has a chance to cop a feel of Her Majesty,” said one member of the crack team. Thomas Scarfold, head of security for the Royal family said “we take this kind of threat very seriously. If the President does make a move, we’ll soon make it clear that that is not part of the special relationship”!